A Saint, A feminist & the Psalms
- Kate
- Jan 30, 2022
- 5 min read
The ways which we all go about trying desperately to fill the hole that only He can
What do St. Augustine & Betty Friedan & Psalms have in common? Probably more than you might think, by more I mean at least this one thing! What I am referring to is the "ache without a name" as Friedan called it or the capax Dei if you are wanting to brush up on your latin. If you prefer the Psalms "Seek his face evermore" - Psalm 105:4.
So what is Capax Dei? It is that the idea that all humans are "capable of knowing God and of receiving the gift He makes of Himself" as JPII so beautifully put it. In other words we have the capacity to allow God to fill our entire heart. The very fact that we are created in the image and likeness of the Father & that we have the capacity to know our Creator, means that the lack of "knowing" would leave us with an insatiable hole that only He can fill. I came across this idea of capax Dei in my absolute favorite book by Carrie Gress, The Anti-Mary Exposed: Rescuing the Culture from Toxic Femininity. (I think this is an absolute must read for Catholics.)
"Our hearts are restless Lord, until they rest in You" - St. Augustine
The problems arise when we as humans, as women, try desperately to fill this hole, tirelessly searching for the missing piece of our heart. While Friedan's "ache without a name," was undoubtably something she was feeling, the ache we have all felt, it does in fact have a name! We can often look to the Church to pick up where the secular leaves off to expand and explain the mysteries of (wo)man.
St. Augustine, known as the wild man turned most reverent of the Catholic saints, wrote at length about this very hole. St. Augustine's opening prayer to The Confessions, "You have made us for Yourself, and our hearts are restless until they rest in You." He knew first hand how unsatisfying, how fleeting the things of this earth can be. Augustine is the most amazing example that God is willing to change our path at any point, all we have to do is ask for his guidance.
Substitue Filler
When I was able to make it back to Atlanta after my company moved me 5 hours away my then boyfriend, turned husband asked, "will you be happy now?" When I bought my first home, my then Fiance, asked, "Will you be happy now?" When we got married, he asked "Will you be happy now?"
Are we seeing a theme yet? That happiness he was referring to wasn't really happiness at all. My heart was searching for something to fill the hole that only God can. As an ambitious type A, I always wanted more, different, better.. I was impatiently running toward the next thing, but never toward the right thing. I didn't understand at the time that my heart was restless because it was in dire need of being filled with the eternal love of the Father.
For me, God chose to use the complete heartbreak over being told we wouldn't be able to have a child to remind me that nothing can take the place of His love for me. Not a new job, a bigger house, a engagement ring, new furniture, a better kitchen, and (you might want to sit down for this one) even children. NOTHING, nothing can fill the cavity in our hearts reserved for our Creator.
Sisters, I am inviting you to join me in identifying the material, earthly things in your life that you are using as a substitute filler. The instant gratification of our #modern world offers a lot of ways to quickly try over and over again to fill ourselves up, but the satisfaction is fleeting at best & at worst leaves you with a greater desire to find the next thing. That desire can get you into real trouble, moving you a little further from our Creator as each attained #gratification begins to crumble.
Sister, you are worthy of eternal Love
Take some time in prayer today and identify those desires you are using to fill your heart, write them down, sit with them, cry with them. When you are ready ask our merciful Father to come into those cracks, to mend your weary heart, to bless you with the knowledge to know He alone can fill that space. Ask Him to show you how you can grow your capacity for Him, alone. If you have never been to adoration, start there. Sit with Him, ask Him to show you all the ways He loves you. Because, sisters, He loves you & desires nothing more than for you to love Him.
Pray the Litany of the Love of God
by Pope Pius VI (p.s. #freeprintable )
Lord, have mercy on us. Christ, have mercy on us.
Lord, have mercy on us. Christ, hear us. Christ graciously hear us.
God, the Father of heaven, Have mercy on us.
God the Son, Redeemer of the world, Have mercy on us.
God, the Holy Ghost, Have mercy on us.
Holy Trinity, one God, Have mercy on us.
Thou Who art Infinite Love, Have mercy on us.
Thou Who didst first love me, Have mercy on us.
Thou Who commandest me to love Thee, Have mercy on us.
With all my heart, I Love Thee, O My God
With all my soul, I Love Thee, O My God
With all my mind, I Love Thee, O My God
With all my strength, I Love Thee, O My God
Above all possessions and honors, I Love Thee, O My God
Above all pleasures and enjoyments, I Love Thee, O My God
More than myself, and everything belonging to me, I Love Thee, O My God
More than all my relatives and friends, I Love Thee, O My God
More than all men and angels, I Love Thee, O My God
Above all created things in heaven or on earth, I Love Thee, O My God
Only for Thyself, I Love Thee, O My God
Because Thou art the sovereign Good, I Love Thee, O My God
Because Thou art infinitely worthy of being loved, I Love Thee, O My God
Because Thou art infinitely perfect, I Love Thee, O My God
Even hadst Thou not promised me heaven, I Love Thee, O My God
Even hadst Thou not menaced me with hell, I Love Thee, O My God
Even shouldst Thou try me by want and misfortune, I Love Thee, O My God
In wealth and in poverty, I Love Thee, O My God
In prosperity and in adversity, I Love Thee, O My God
In health and in sickness, I Love Thee, O My God
In life and in death, I Love Thee, O My God
In time and in eternity, I Love Thee, O My God
In union with that love wherewith all the saints and all the angels love Thee in heaven, I Love Thee, O My God
In union with that love wherewith the Blessed Virgin Mary loveth Thee,
I Love Thee, O My God
In union with that infinite love wherewith Thou lovest Thyself eternally,
I Love Thee, O My God
Let us Pray,
My God, Who dost possess in incomprehensible abundance all that is perfect and worthy of love, annihilate in me all guilty, sensual, and undue love for creatures. Kindle in my heart the pure fire of Thy love, so that I may love nothing but Thee or in Thee, until being so entirely consumed by holy love of Thee, I may go to love Thee eternally with the elect in heaven, the country of pure love.
Amen.
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